Divorce is one of the most devastating experiences many people go through. The ending of a marriage can be traumatic and leave you feeling lost, alone and hopeless.
These feelings are valid. Life is not the same after a divorce. You are starting out on your own after being part of a couple for years or even decades. Additionally, the divorce process in Texas is complex and can leave you feeling depressed and mentally exhausted.
It may be hard to imagine life after divorce, but it is important to realize that although your life will not be the same, that doesn’t mean it will be bad. Divorce is a chance for you to seize new opportunities and build a new life that leaves you fulfilled.
Here are some tips to help you build your post-divorce life.
Allow yourself time to grieve
You may want to throw yourself into your new, single life and block your former spouse and divorce out of your head entirely, but emotions must be felt and processed before you can heal.
Take time out to recover and recognize that this process could take some time. Most people are not over a divorce within a week and pretending to be is not healthy.
Additionally, remember that the time it takes to get over a divorce is different for everyone. Needing weeks, months or longer to get over a divorce is understandable, especially if you were married for decades. Give yourself time and be patient.
Do not confuse taking time to recover with clinging on to your former spouse. If you have children, you will need to stay in each other’s lives and work on a healthy co-parenting relationship.
Outside of that, accept that your marriage is over and that is not going to change. Do not obsess over your former spouse’s new life or what they are doing. This is not going to help you move on.
Take control of your financial circumstances
Divorce usually means a change in your financial life. Almost every divorce involves adjusting from having two incomes to one.
Have a firm understanding of where you are financially and educate yourself on areas you need help in. Take a course or read a book on money management. This will help you feel independent and in control of your future.
Have a strong support network. This means having people who do not try to change you or tell you how you should be feeling. Friends and family may mean well, but if they are telling you to “get over it” before you are ready, this might not be what you need.
Do not be afraid to reach out to people you believe will support you in the way you need and avoid those who will not. Consider seeing a therapist to help you work through some of the more complex emotions.
Resist the temptation to begin another new relationship
Give yourself time to enjoy being on your own and get to know the parts of yourself you may have forgotten when you were married. This will allow you to bring your best and know what you want when you do decide to pursue another relationship.
Leaving old lives and routines is hard. The key to building a foundation for a better life after divorce involves combining the healthy and stable parts of your routine with new activities and challenges.